Characteristics of Bi-Polar Disorder
Articles written by Ms. Martin-Downs for the benefit of our clients
Characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder. Is there someone in your life who has five or more of the following characteristics?
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This person makes frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
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Their life is filled with unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
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They have a persistently unstable self-image.
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They are impulsive in two of the following areas that are potentially self-damaging (spending, sex, substance abuse, shoplifting, binge eating, reckless driving)
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They threaten or make gestures toward suicidal behavior or self-mutilation (ex: cutting)
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Their moods tend to be reactive and include a mixture of depression, anxiety, rage and despair, lasting from a few hours to a few days.
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They have chronic feelings of emptiness
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They respond with intense anger which may manifest in physical fights
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They dissociate when under stress, which means they detach from a situation and don’t remember it later. Your memory of a particular incident may be very different than their memory of it.
Having five or more of these traits are indicators of a person whose personality fits the diagnostic criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You may also see other attributes that are not part of the actual diagnostic code (DSM IV), but are common to the disorder. Many of these are related to sexual or physical abuse in early life. The person may suffer from deep shame which they are either consumed by or deny. Inside they feel worthless, isolated, empty, but will guard against exposing that inner truth to themselves or others.
The person may have difficulties with boundaries (too few or too many). This stems from a childhood where parents routinely violated the child’s boundaries by abusing, or humiliating them, or discounting their feelings through statements like, STOP THAT CRYING. YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A BABY.” Today their boundaries would look like either strong brick walls, that don’t allow others to be emotionally connected to them or invisible, where others take advantage of them. The person will often be controlling, sometimes setting up chaotic or no-win situation. They will try to control others to avoid being vulnerable (and possibly shamed). Some other BPDs will give up their own power and choose a lifestyle where decisions are made for them. Some BPDs have an uncanny ability to read people so well that they can uncover the other person’s vulnerabilities. In Paul Mason’s book, “Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About has Borderline Personality Disorder,” he describes this sensitivity as an “astute ability to identify and use social and nonverbal cues of others. BPs can empathize well with others and often understand and respect how others feel, and they can use these skills to “see through others.” It is thought that many adults who were repeatedly physically and/or sexually abused as children developed these social and emotional antennae as a survival strategy. This helped them predict and therefore prepare themselves for what their abusers were about to do.”
Other BPDs have a tendency to always bring attention to themselves. Mason goes on to write, “They may react to most things based solely on how it affects them.” Whether through complaints of illness or inappropriate behavior in public, their behavior seems quite narcissistic.
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What are the signs of acute mania or a mixed episode?
During acute mania you may:
- Feel overly happy
- Feel hyper
- Feel grouchy
- Feel restless
- Have difficulty concentrating
Acute mania can also make you feel as if you are on top of the world. This may lead to very reckless behavior, like:
- Causing problems at work
- Spending sprees
- Risky sex
- Abuse of alcohol or drugs
Sometimes if an acute manic or mixed state is severe, you may have thoughts that are unusual. You might even hear voices or see things that are not there.
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Irritable or angry mood – As noted above, irritability, rather than sadness, is often the predominant mood in depressed teens. A depressed teenager may be grumpy, hostile, easily frustrated, or prone to angry outbursts.
Unexplained aches and pains - Depressed teens frequently complain about physical ailments such as headaches or stomachaches. If a thorough physical exam does not reveal a medical cause, these aches and pains may indicate depression.
Extreme sensitivity to criticism - Depressed teens are plagued by feelings of worthlessness, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection, and failure. This is a particular problem for “over-achievers.”
Withdrawing from some, but not all people - While adults tend to isolate themselves when depressed, teenagers usually keep up at least some friendships. However, teens with depression may socialize less than before, pull away from their parents, or start hanging out with a different crowd.
Effects of teen depression.
The negative effects of teenage depression go far beyond a melancholy mood. Many rebellious and unhealthy behaviors or attitudes in teenagers are actually indications of depression. See the table below for some of the ways in which teens “act out” or “act in” in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain:
Problems at school - Depression can cause low energy and concentration difficulties. At school, this may lead to poor attendance, a drop in grades, or frustration with schoolwork in a formerly good student.
Running away - Many depressed teens run away from home or talk about running away. Such attempts are usually a cry for help.
Substance abuse - Teens may use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to “self-medicate” their depression. Unfortunately, substance abuse only makes things worse.
Low self-esteem - Depression can trigger and intensify feelings of ugliness, shame, failure, and unworthiness.
Eating disorders - Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and yo-yo dieting are often signs of unrecognized depression.
Internet addiction - Teens may go online to escape from their problems. But excessive computer use only increases their isolation and makes them more depressed.
Self-injury - Cutting, burning, and other kinds of self-mutilation are almost always associated with depression.
Reckless behavior - Depressed teens may engage in dangerous or high-risk behaviors, such as reckless driving, out-of-control drinking, and unsafe sex.
Violence - Some depressed teens (usually boys who are the victims of bullying) become violent. As in the case of the Columbine school massacre, self-hatred and a wish to die can erupt into violence and homicidal rage.
Suicide - Teens who are seriously depressed often think, speak, or make "attention-getting" attempts at suicide. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors should always be taken very seriously.
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Continuous use:
Inspite of anything that happens to me, I do not give it (the addiction) up. I might control it for awhile, but then I go back to it. I am compulsively drawn to it as if it’s a rubber band springing back to its original shape.
Examples:
Why do I keep drinking when I have thrown up because of drinking too much?
Why do I keep drinking when I have DUIs?
Why do I keep _____ing when people have gotten on me about it?
Why do I keep _____ing when I make a fool of myself?
Why do I keep _____ing when my relationship with my family (wife/husband)
has deteriorated?
Control is lost: Do I notice that I have lost control of certain situations?
Money? Driver’s license? Sexual discipline?
Temper? Irritation with others? Getting along with spouse?
Job? My mouth/words? My judgment?
Chronic: Unlike an “acute illness”, where I have it and then I get past it, (cold, appendicitis, strep throat) addiction is chronic and never leaves. Diabetes would be the same way...chronically with you, forever. Do I notice that I am “magnetized” to it? Even when I try to get away from it, it chases me down and brings me back to it. The addictive “X” factor/gene can run in families.
Consequences: Subtle or not, consequences will ALWAYS come at some point.
Whether it’s broken relationships, poor grades, work absences, temper, STDs,
disrespecting authority, job loss, speeding tickets, obesity, lost trust, caught in lies, deceitfulness found out, addiction will eventually have consequences follow it.
It's Your Northville Business - Q&A with Jacque Martin-Downs
How did the business start?
Years ago, while I was a teacher, I noticed that some children struggled with their schooling, in part because of their situation at home. 'How could I more positively impact them?' I wondered. With the input of a mentor, I decided that becoming an individual and family therapist would allow me the opportunity to not only work with kids, but work with families, who impact their kids. So back to school I went to pursue a master's degree in social work from the University of Michigan.
After graduation, I worked as a director of a substance abuse prevention program which oversaw school and community projects for out-Wayne County. Simultaneously, I worked as an evening therapist at Northville Counseling. Though I loved both jobs, I knew that down the road I would most enjoy having my own private practice. And I was right.
How has it changed since it opened?
The circuitous route to my new location included sub-letting from other therapists and renting a wonderful little office from a colleague in Northville. In February, I was able to open my practice in the central business district of Northville. The practice now includes clients from two to 92 and is now a big enough site to see entire families, if need be.
What makes your business unique?
One of the unique principles of my practice is that it is all about metaphors. I have developed numerous "props" over the years which serve to help the client embrace a concept by way of a visual. For the codependent who tends to be at other people's beck and call, I have been known to pull out a furnace filter to demonstrate how to "filter out" less than useful comments from others. I might also show people how a difficult person in their life might be on "a fishing expedition" to reel them in to doing something they're not comfortable with.
I also thoroughly enjoy changing it up during the day and getting down on the floor while using play therapy with kids. A child's initial doubt about me can turn on a dime when they see me invent something kind of cool with Legos.
How has the recent economy affected your business?
The Michigan economy has clearly increased people's stress levels. Relationships have suffered while phobias, addictions and fears have increased. So the bad news is that people's peace and serenity has decreased, but the good news is that my business has stayed steady.
Any advice for other businesses?
I am well aware that nothing comes without hard work, and I believe marketing yourself and your business on a constant basis is necessary to keep your name out there. Networking with other colleagues in the same business gives me more referrals and good ideas that I can use in my practice. I also have a website which allows potential clients to learn about me and my practice before calling me.
What's in store for the future of your business?
I am passionate about my work and will continue building a solid, stable business while incorporating more creative ideas into each session. I keep my ears and eyes open to new ideas all the time. I like to think that my clients walk away with more tools and insights which will help them to live a wholesome, healthy lifestyle.
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